Young and Gullible
by Metoria
Summary: Hogan and the gang need important papers from Hochstetter but are having trouble getting them. Can Hochstetter’s Niece help?
1. Chapter 1

Young and Gullible

Chapter 1- The Niece

Summary: Hogan and the gang need important papers from Hochstetter but are having trouble getting them. Can Hochstetter's Niece help?

…

Hogan paced the barracks while his men tried to figure a plan. The Gestapo had new security information that they needed to get off to the underground and London. However getting it was going to be difficult. Hochstetter was coming to Stalag Thirteen to keep them safe while his head quarters was under going some maintenance. He trusted no one with them so he kept them with him at all times.

Hogan sat down at the table and took the cup of coffee that Lebeau offered him. "Getting those plans is going to be tough."

"Sir, what if we started a distraction while one of us went in to photograph them?" Newkirk suggested.

Hogan thought a moment the shook his head. "No, we wouldn't get a chance." he sighed. "At any time there were a distraction he'd have those papers with him first."

The men slumped in defeat. What could they do?

Just then the door opened and Schultz walked in. "Colonel Hogan, Kommandant Klink wants to speak to you."

"Okay Schultz," Hogan stood and followed the heavy guard to Klink's office.

He opened the door and found Klink drinking tea and snacking at his desk. "You wanted to see me, Sir?"

Klink looked up, "Ah, yes, Hogan, Major Hochstetter will be arriving in camp today."

"And you want me to get rid of him?" Hogan asked jokingly.

"Honestly I would appreciate it, but no that's not why I called you here." He paused to sip his tea. "Major Hochstetter is bringing his niece along with him and she wants to meet some of the prisoners."

Hogan straightened a bit. He hoped she was a pretty thing, as long as she didn't look like her uncle. He chuckled at this.

"Let's just hope she doesn't look like her uncle!" Klink said dismissively.

Hogan smiled harder. "My thoughts exactly Kommandant."

"Yes, well, pick out five men to meet her and go and wait in the recreation hall. Hochstetter called and said he'd be here shortly."

"Alright Sir, but you know we aren't here to entertain." Hogan said. It was interesting yes, but he didn't want to seem too eager.

"Hogan I thought you enjoyed entertaining young ladies." Klink folded his hands on his desk.

"Well, I do, as long as their uncles aren't Gestapo men." Hogan said casually.

Klink nodded understanding this. "Very well, a week of white bread."

Hogan waited and stared the German officer down to see if he could get more.

Klink sighed. "And an extra hour of light for the next week as well."

"Thank you sir," Hogan saluted, turned and left.

He went back to the barracks to get his men. Opening the door he announced, "Alright men, we're heading to the rec. hall."

Kinch stood, "Any reason why, sir?"

"Yeah, Hochstetter's niece want's to meet us." Hogan said shutting the door.

"Meet US?" The men looked between themselves nervous. Had they been ratted out? Was their operations over?

Hogan knew what they were thinking. "She just wants to meet prisoners, no specifics about who. I think she's just curious about prisoners."

The men let out a relieved sigh. They weren't in trouble.

The stood and filed out into the compound they followed their commanding officer to the recreation hall. The whole way there they wondered what Hochstetter's niece looked like. Was she tall or short? Blond or brunette? Was she delicate or husky? Well they would find out shortly.

They heard a car pull through the gate and they turned. It was a German staff car driven by Gestapo. When it parked Hochstetter got out and was greeted by Klink. Then they turned and Hogan saw someone in the back seat climbing to get out. The guards that drove in hustled out of the car and one ran to help the girl out of the back of the car while the other ran to the truck, no doubt to get her things. He pulled out two suite cases; both pink. The other guard held his hand out and the girl took it. She got out of the car. The men around the car were looking down at her.

She hopped around the front of the car and saw the prisoners waiting by the recreation hall. She waved with one hand while holding a small black kitten in the other.

"That's Hochstetter's niece?" Carter asked dumbfounded.

"Blimey, she's just a tot!" Newkirk remarked noting the girls young age.

Hogan hadn't expected this. Hochstetter's' niece was just a little girl.

The blond little girl waited for her uncle and the guard with her luggage before venturing forth.

"Hi! I'm Nani, and I'm six and a half years old! I'm a big girl!" She said happily.

Hogan and his men looked among themselves before smiling.

"Yeah I guess that does make you quite a big girl doesn't it!" Carter said kneeling down. He put out his hand and she took it and they entered the rec. hall.

…

[AN] Sorry if this chapter is kind of short. I wanted it to be like the beginning of normal episodes. I'm surprised I had time to work on this today. My sister got a new kitten, he's so cute! His name is Murdock. He's been keeping us all busy lately. Now he's napping so I was able to work on this chapter. Hope you liked it! The kitten Nani has is Murdock! :D I had to add him into the story in honor of getting him.


	2. Chapter 2

Young and Gullible

Chapter 2-

…

…

Hogan watched as the Gestapo corporal put down the girls luggage and she pulled out numerous dolls. She held up one in a pink dress. "This is Barbara." She said introducing Carter to the doll.

"She's pretty." He said encouragingly.

She looked up at Hochstetter, "Uncle Wolfie you have to play!" She handed him a doll. "Here you can have Kevin."

Hochstetter smiled with embarrassment and uncertainty. "Oh no, Uncle Wolfie has lots of work to do."

"But you have to play!" She gave him the saddest look.

He broke.

Hogan had found the man's weakness. He felt triumph fill him even though he didn't do anything.

Hochstetter looked around a bit and took the doll. He got down on his knees and put the doll's feet on the ground. "Ahem," He cleared his throat. "Hello Barbara."

"Hi Kevin! You wanna go on a date?"

Hogan was going to have some fun with this. He looked at Kinch hoping he had ha camera with him.

Kinch returned the look and shook his head.

Darn it! No camera!

Hogan looked back to the dolls.

"Okay, where do you want to go?"

Nani pulled out a toy car; it was a military car. "We could go to the movies!"

"Oh, yah, okay."

Newkirk took a doll. "Hi! I'm Katrina! You want to go to the movies with me?" Newkirk used his best girl voice.

Hogan nearly burst out laughing.

Hochstetter looked at Newkirk with a death glare.

There was a gasp. The men looked to Nani. She had the doll wave her body around flicking her hair. "Who is she? Your new girl friend? That's it we're through!"

Hochstetter was glad about that. "Here, lets punish him shall we?" He took out a small string and made a noose then put the dolls head threw and dropped him from the string so he was dangling by it.

Hogan covered his face to hide his laughter.

"Uncle that's not how you play!" Nani put her hands on her hips.

Hochstetter looked at her. "Well, how does it go?"

She reached over and pulled out a very buff soldier looking doll. "S.S. Joe! S.S. Joe! Kevin is cheating on me!"

She held up the S.S. Doll to Newkirk who took it. He handed the other girl doll to Carter who started acting out an upset Katrina doll, who cried a lot.

Newkirk took it and deepened his voice. "Hey, you! Kevin! You upsetting this pretty girl?" Nani smiled and clapped her hands. "That's it!" Newkirk positioned the doll to pull out a giant gun and with the help of Carter made gun noises and 'killed' Kevin.

Nani giggled and clapped her hands cheerfully enjoying Kevin's death.

Hochstetter stood, "Yah, well I guess the game is over."

Nani said nothing, in fact she didn't even really notice. Then her kitten walked across the scene. "Murdock is Barbara's pet kitty."

Hogan smiled. "That's one big kitty."

Nani giggled.

Hochstetter made his escape, but was sure to order the guards to stay and make sure the prisoners were good to his niece.

They agreed, although they were soon dragged into Nani's game. "Uncle Wolfie isn't very good at playing with dolls." she said as though it was some art that she was good at.

Hogan just wondered where she learned bout people cheating on each other and all the violence. She did after all have S.S. Joe shoot Kevin. Then he thought about who her uncle was and the mystery was solved.

Watching Nani play got Hogan thinking. Could he get the papers from Hochstetter through this little girl? He'd have to think it through very carefully. If she were to get caught it wouldn't be her fault she's just a gullible little kid right? She wouldn't be shot or held as a spy. Her and Newkirk got along really well too. "Newkirk, come here a second."

The Englander went to stand up but was stopped by the little girl. "You can only see him if you promise to play with us."

It wasn't that big of a deal was it? He agreed.

Newkirk stood up and went over to his officer. "Sir?"

"Can you teach her a few of your tricks?"

Newkirk didn't know what to say. "What, teach a good, sweet girl like 'er 'ow to pick pocket?"

Hogan nodded. "Yeah, she's a smart kid."

"You really want me to be that bad of an influence?" Newkirk sounded offended.

Hogan looked at him. "Not as bad as her uncle."

Newkirk nodded defeated with that logic. "Alright but I'm just saying, don't blame me if she turns out bad." Newkirk went back to Nani and decided to start with a few easy tricks.

Hogan joined them and took up the roll of S.S. Joe.

…

Nani picked up on the tricks pretty quickly, and actually wound up teaching Newkirk a thing or two, turns out she was a bad seed to begin with. Or at least as bad of a kid as they get, probably from bad parenting. No doubt why Hochstetter has her.

Hogan got thinking, maybe Hochstetter wouldn't be that bad of a father… no he would, super strict and super scary. His kids would either be psychos or wimps.

Hogan was still playing S.S. Joe and Nani was pretending to be Barbara, Newkirk was Katrina again and Carter was busy combing another doll's hair; apparently her name was Cynthia.

"You know, you two seem quite at ease doing this. "Hogan said sitting on the floor Indian style.

Carter and Newkirk looked up at him. "Well, don't forget I 'ave a sister, Mavis." Newkirk said.

"I have a little sister and cousins too, who made me play with dolls, dress up and come to tea parties all the time growing up." Carter said fixing the dolls hair just right.

"Yeah, and Mavis would make me play with 'er dolls all the time. Even her friends made me." Newkirk said picking out a new dress for Katrina.

Hogan shook his head. "And you enjoy it?"

Newkirk and Carter looked at one another. "Well, Sir, when you've done it for so long, you become immune to it."

"Yeah! What he said!" Carter agreed and went back his doll.

Hogan looked at Kinch and Lebeau who shrugged.

Well it kept them out of trouble.

Hogan had an idea. "Say, Nani, do you play tea party?"

Nani nodded, "Of course! Only Sophistimcated young women do. And I'm a sophistimcated young woman! Uncle Wolfie said so."

Hogan ignored the fact that she pronounced the word wrong, it was no big deal she was still learning. Or maybe Hochstetter said it wrong… Who knows.

"Well, do you want to have a tea party today?"

"And we can invite Uncle Wolfie?" She asked excited.

"Yeah! You can invite who ever you want!"

Nani looked at her Barbara doll. "Okay! That will be fun!"

Newkirk raised his hand, "I'll make the tea!"

Lebeau stepped forward sure that Hogan had a plan. "I'll handle the food."

"Make sure there are lots of cookies and cakes!" Nani said standing up. "I love sweets!"

"Sure thing!" Lebeau could handle that, no problem!

Hogan stood and had his men prepare the recreation hall for a tea party. Newkirk made the tea and other drinks for those who didn't like tea. Lebeau handled the sweets, Kinch, Hogan and the German guards handled the decorating and Carter and Nani drew up the invitations. It would be a great tea party!

…

[The Barbara dolls are obviously Barbie and S.S. Joe is obviously G.I. Joe. Kevin is Ken. And so on and so forth. XD I love doing parodies of Barbie. Now Barbie didn't come around until maybe 15-20 years later but still, I'm just doing this for the story. Barbie was actually fashioned after a German doll called Bild Lilli who came out around 1955(Random fact of the day). Hope you like. Please R&R


	3. Chapter 3

Young and Gullible-

Chapter 3- Get the papers.

…

…

Hochstetter could not believe he was doing this. He sat in the recreation hall at one of the tables that were brought in from the mess hall to be used in the tea party. He was surrounded by her dolls and toys.

Nani was wearing a large hat and dress that the boys pulled out from their play costumes for her to wear. She walked around with her head held high as though she were a rich young woman who was too good for the world. She really clung to Carter and Newkirk. She seemed to like them the most.

Newkirk knelt down next to Nani, "Say, you wanna play a game?"

"Okay." She said with a handful and mouthful of cookies and sweets.

"Your uncle 'as a suit case with some papers in it. Can you get them with out 'im knowing?" He winked at her.

She smiled mischievously and scampered off.

He stood and joined Hogan at the table with Klink, Hochstetter and Carter. Newkirk sat next to Carter.

Hogan and Andrew looked at him and he nodded. The task was underway.

"I have better things to do than go to a tea party." Hochstetter said with a huff.

Hogan looked at Hochstetter. "Don't let your niece hear you, it'll break her little heart."

Hochstetter looked down and said nothing. "Well, I can't stay too long, I have to be back to headquarters in an hour and a half."

That wasn't good, what if they didn't get the papers in time? "What for Major?" Hogan asked sipping his tea. He may as well join in.

Hochstetter looked at him. "Why do you care?" He asked harshly.

Hogan shrugged, "Just curious."

Hochstetter looked at Klink. "WHAT IS THIS MAN DOING HERE?"

"I invited him!" Nani said coming in. "And Uncle Wolfie, lower your voice, this is a tea party for proper young ladies and gentlemen!"

Hilda smiled as she walked by. Hilda thought the little girl was very cute.

Hochstetter shut his mouth and looked down at his tea cup. He eyed it a moment then picked it up. Hesitating, he sipped it, it was good. He drank some more. "I was called back due to some urgent business, that is all!" Hochstetter said roughly.

Hogan just witnessed Hochstetter getting told off by his niece. It was the best day ever.

Nani skipped up to Newkirk and handed him the papers under the table. He carefully pulled out his camera and took the pictures. He had been watching Hochstetter and Klink all the while to make sure they didn't notice anything. He glanced down at the papers. He looked again. What? These papers weren't what they needed. They were just his grocery list and other nonsense. He looked at Nani. He hadn't been specific about the kinds of papers. "I need different papers. They are very important, security papers." He clarified.

She nodded and took the papers back hid them under her large hat and scampered off.

Newkirk looked at Hogan who had a questioning look on his face.

Newkirk shook his head. The task wasn't finished.

Hogan sighed. He thought this would be relatively easy. Of course he forgot that he was working with a child.

A few minutes later she returned. She walked up to Newkirk and handed him the papers. He took out the camera and photographed the papers. However when he looked at them this time he was disappointed to see that they weren't the papers either. They were, instead, papers pertaining to her custody to Hochstetter. Weird seeing Hochstetter with these. Newkirk wondered why he was getting her. The other papers were reports from her school. He couldn't read them now, instead he would go with her to get the papers.

"Come on I'll help you get the papers." He said standing up. He looked over to Hogan who looked impatient.

Hochstetter was finishing his tea and preparing the leave.

Hogan flashed a look of hurry to Newkirk who understood.

They went around to the back of the building. Where was the brief case? Nani peeked through the window and Hochstetter was facing away from them. He wasn't paying attention. Nani climbed through the window and slithered across the floor to the back of his chair legs where the brief case was sitting.

Newkirk watched as her small nimble fingers expertly and silently unfastened the brief case with the key she swiped from Hochstetter's coat pocket that hung on the back of the chair, and took all the papers from the case and brought them to Newkirk silently and secretly. Everyone was facing away from the window by some miracle.

She handed the papers to Newkirk who took them then ducked down on the ground and quickly went through them. There they were! He took the papers and photographed them quickly. He handed them back to Nani. "Now hurry and put these back."

She nodded and scurried over to the chair on her stomach. She slipped the papers back in and fastened the suit case up.

Hochstetter looked down. "Nani what are you doing?"

"Eek!" She squealed. She was caught. She stood and looked at her uncle, "I'm playing." She said simply. It was true she was playing so far as she knew.

Newkirk had ducked down behind the window when he saw the Gestapo Major turn around and look at his niece.

Hochstetter stood and took his coat. Nani trotted over to the window and climbed out. Newkirk helped her down. She looked at the Englander and opened her right hand; Nani still had the key in her hand. She had a worried look on her face. She knew she would get in trouble if she was caught by her uncle.

Newkirk knew what to do. He smiled. "Not to worry, I'll take care of it! You get ready. You and your uncle have to be going soon."

She nodded relieved that she wasn't going to get in trouble. Then she trotted around to the front of the building to get her toys packed. Hochstetter's men had already began packing her things. She trotted in and was greeted by Carter who handed her a roughly wrapped object. She looked it unsure.

"It's a present from the guys here." he said softly.

She smiled and opened it. In her hands she held a wooden doll with a pretty dress on. It was about the same size as her other dolls which allowed her to change its clothing if she wanted to. She was very happy.

She gave Carter a hug and the other men in turn as well.

Hochstetter huffed and quickly walked out of the building but bumped into Newkirk who was on his way in.

"Oh! Sorry Major!" Newkirk put his hands up in a defensive way.

"Watch where you're going!" Hochstetter yelled then made his way to his car.

The other Germans carried Nani's things.

Nani gave Newkirk a hug and was immediately picked up into his arms. She giggled. "I had fun!"

"Us too!" Carter said cheerfully.

Hogan smiled, they were all kids at heart weren't they?

Nani looked at Newkirk, "Um, what did you do with the key?" She whispered. She didn't want her Uncle to find it gone.

"I gave it back to 'im." Newkirk said simply. Then he smiled. "I slipped it into 'is pocket when 'e wasn't lookin'." he whispered back. He had put it in when he bumped into the Major as he was going out.

Nani smiled harder. "I hope we can play again soon!" She said as Newkirk put her back down onto the ground.

"Yeah, we got a lot out of it!" Hogan said happily as Newkirk gave him the signal that the task was complete.

Nani giggle and said her goodbyes took her new doll and trotted off to her waiting uncle.

It had been the best tea party Hogan had ever been to.

….

Later…

….

Hogan and his men waited outside the dark room for Carter to finish the photographs. It didn't take him too long but the wait was killing them.

Carter came out with a fair amount of photos.

"Newkirk how many papers were there?" Hogan asked looking at them.

"Well, you see, Sir, she kept getting me the wrong ones. The last two were the real papers."

Hogan chuckled as he read the Major's grocery list.. "Hochstetter does his own grocery shopping, I'd love to see that!"

The other men laughed.

"Wait, what's this?" Hogan read some more of the photos.

The men waited in anticipation.

"Seems he's going to get custody of the girl because her parent's can't handle her. Or her school." Hogan said reading on.

"What do you mean?" Carter asked leaning over Hogan's shoulder.

"She's been kicked out of three schools, and her parents had to move four times because she's such a little demon." Hogan said interested.

"So now Hochstetter has her?" Kinch asked.

"Says here, she's behaved around him for the most part because she respects people who are either like her or are very strict and harsh."

"Well, Hochstetter isn't like her." Lebeau said.

Hogan smiled. "No but these two are." He pointed to Carter and Newkirk.

"What else does it say?" Lebeau asked, curious about their new partner in crime.

Hogan looked at the photos. "Apparently she's a very big trouble maker. Putting spiders in her mother's bed, and her father's suit case, she also antagonized kids on the play ground and bossed them around, not to mention putting a pipe bomb in the teacher's private restroom."

"Sounds like Hochstetter." Kinch said amused at the girls craftiness.

"That's probably where she learned it from or why she likes him." Hogan said shrugging.

Newkirk nodded and put his hands in his pockets. "GAH!" He tore his left hand out of his pocket and out plopped a frog. He sighed. "Gimme a heart attack."

Carter picked the frog up. "Colonel can we keep him?"

Hogan just looked at Carter. The frog had a note tied to it. He took the note a read it. The hand writing was terrible and looked like a child's.

"It's from Nani, says she had fun a hopes that we like her pet frog." Hogan read and bit more then laughed.

"What is it?" Carter asked petting his frog.

"She put a surprise in Klink's office." Hogan said between laughs. He knew it was a surprise but not a good one.

"Blimey, she is a little devil." Newkirk carefully put his hands back into his pockets worried he might get another frog.

"Come on." Hogan lead his men up and they watched as Klink went into his office. They went to the window and watched.

"Hilda, I'm not to be disturbed." Klink said before shutting the door.

He straightened his jacket and went to his desk. He sat down but was quickly on his feet. "YEOW!!!" He hopped around a bit holding his backside. "Who put thumb tacks on my chair?"

The men resisted the urge to laugh. He rubbed his back end and went to his liquor. He poured himself a shot and downed it. He quickly gagged in return. "And who switched my wine with pickle juice?"

The men watched with agonizing hysterical laughter as Klink moved around the office hitting each booby trap.

"It's like she knew where 'e would go." Newkirk said half in awe and half in laughter.

Hogan was holding his gut. "She's a genius, not a monster."

"She placed all the traps strategically!" Carter agreed between laughter.

After about ten minutes of pain and traps for Klink and hysterical laughter for the heroes, Klink left his office and decided to head to his quarters.

Hogan had a feeling there were more traps there and decided to go and watch. It was the ending to a perfect day!

….

Poor Klink gets booby trapped by a six year old! Now that's pretty bad. Hope you liked please R&R


End file.
